me vs. the copier

so, it's really kickin in now. i've got the irriatability, the paranoia, the emotional reactions, loss of concentration, figgity, antsy, impatient....you name it, i am it.
the guys at the trailer are driving me crazy with all the little things, and when i'm in this type of mood i hate being around them because of the type of people they are. they're just rude and disrespectful - i guess i always let it go by just thinkin "well, they're construction guys", but now i feel like i want to fight back and tell them that i don't care what their career is, it still isn't right to be slobs and disgusting. needless to say, i'm now working with my office door shut - maybe it will muffle THE laugh and complaining, and hopefully provide a barrier for the stench that they seem to not be able to contain. unfortunately, i'm not able to put a toilet in here too...well, i guess i could, but it would be unsanitary, and i will pass on using a bucket.
but, yeah, i know it's all coming down on me now cause i'm to the point that whenver someone that knows about the situation asks how i'm doing i start crying again. i feel so stupid when i do, but i just can't control it. i really don't know why i cry - i think it's partly because i hate feeling like that and i'm just not able to consciously control my emotions.
yesterday i was at my main office, so thankfully the day went by faster, but the antsyness and figgityness didn't go away. by the end of the day i was about to get in a fight with the copier. we weren't on the same page, literally. i tried to print something on ledger size paper, i went over to get it and it said insert 7 1/4 x 10 1/2 paper....what? i didn't ask for a moron size, i just wanted ledger. so then i sent it on executive size. went over to get it...again, insert 7 1/4 x 10 1/2 paper. ok copier, why is it that i ask for 2 simple size prints, that i know the paper is in there for, and you suddenly ask for paper in a size that doesn't exist...really, do you think this is funny?! and of course it happened at the end of the day when i was at my whits end, trying to get something important printed out for my boss, and i had to leave right that minute in order to get home and make it to the gym on time for training. so finally i told our IT guy that he should either call the mechanic guy to come fix the copier because i was about to get in a fight with it, or he could come and tell it to stop being stupid. he went with the latter and the copier complied.
but, luckily i still go to my workouts regularly, and that typically helps me get some frustration out. my trainer has even said she can tell that i come in all tense, but that i seem so much more relaxed when i leave. i think that's true. but unfortunately, it looks like i'm gonna have to start working out on my own, cause the schedule my trainer is giving me is so random and back and forth with times of the day, that i wouldn't be able to stay sane...i hate not having a fixed schedule at the same time each day for stuff like that. cause then i feel like i'm running around and all crazy trying to remember which day is what time, etc. so i am just gonna work out bymyself for 2 days, 2 days with her, 1 day for the random thing on sat, and then wed and sun off. all of it will be at 5:30 am, so it's a good jump start in the morning and it's consistent. i just hope as i'm getting more and more bothered, and then when i possibly get into my depressed feeling, that i can motivate myself to make sure i go, and to also get a decent workout.
so, here i am, another day. gonna try my best to get stuff done and block out the BS. my boss told me yesterday that if i get antsy or aggrivated to just get up and take a car ride to get away from it. so i know he understands and that i won't be in trouble if i kinda start spacing out and need regular breaks. i'm also getting headaches still, so that doesn't help either. ugh...i'm just gonna keep pluggin along.