good news all around

i feel like things are much better lately. i have def realized that being around the people at work really bring me down, but i just try to block them out and think about the other things that i get to do outside of work. i had a good weekend, so i'm hoping that holds me through at least half the week.
i have found out 2 things in the past week that make me very excited and make me have a good outlook on what can happen in the future.

first thing, i found out that one of my best friends from high school might be moving up here - and that is AWESOME for me. i am truely comfortable with her and she accepts me for exactly the way i am, and very understanding. we can go a year without talking and then pick up right where we left off and act like we just saw each other yesterday, so it's very comforting to know that i will have another person within near vacinity that i can socialize with and not feel uncomfortable. very good news, even though it's not 100% yet, it seems like it's more 80%, but that's good enough for me to get excited for the possibility.

second thing, i just had dinner yesterday with one of my good friends from work (she works back at my main office, i don't have any good friends here at the site office as you can tell from my other posts). she is one of the few women at my company that are really involved with the engineering/construction management side of things, so it's easy to get along with her because we kind of have to deal with the same stuff. we are the same age, so that helps even more. we are in a very male dominated field, so being a young female in a male's world usually has many bumps in the road. anyhow, what i found out was that she is only working part time from now on. this is good because she just had a baby over thanksgiving, and she wasn't sure if she would come back part time or full time, but she made the decision for part time and i'm proud of her for that. our job can be very taxing, and usually ends up being more hours than most other jobs because things don't just stop when you want to stop...so it's unpredictable whether or not you'll really get off after working 9 hours, and that would mean not seeing her kid for at least 11 hours because of the commute also. so i'm very proud of her because she stood up for what she believes in - being a mother first, working second - because she wants to be involved with her kid as he grows up. now, you have to understand, being a woman in this field, you get rolled eyes if you say you want to actually be a mom instead of working like a mule. so it's hard to look at your boss, or tell your clients that you are only going to work part time - it's like they would look at you like you're not worthy of being in this field anymore. but i will give my boss some credit because the fact that he is willing to accomidate her with this is very respectful. but the reason why it makes me even more happy is because i have continuously thought to myself that there is no way that i would want to work full time if i had a kid. and i was always really worried whether or not there would be a chance that i could work part time. there were 2 reasons that i was worried, one that i wouldn't be allowed to just work part time, and the other being that i wouldn't be able to mentally handle everything if i had to work full time. i would be too exhausted from working all day everyday and feel like i wouldn't be a good mother always working long hours and basically making someone else raise my kid. so this makes it easier to think about how things could really work out for me whenever we do have kids. because i know i would have to hold some sort of job just to make sure our finances were taken care of, but it would at least take a huge load off my shoulders about not having to work loooonnnggg days and being able to give the attention to my kids that they deserve. and nick and i have talked about the fact that whenever we do have kids, we think the best option would be that i only work part time - whether it was with the company i'm at now, or if i had to find another job - so it's just good to know that they would be willing to work things out if necessary.

so, that's all good news. and like i said, i'm feeling a lot better and i think my meds are finally really working for me again. i feel like i'm enjoying things again (besides work), and i'm able to be happy about it. nick and i are back to having a good time together constantly, and i know it makes it easier on him when i feel like this. so good news all around!

when i was talking with my friend from back home, i told her how i feel lately and she said i should quote it all the time, so i figured i'd share because i'm glad i can finally say it:

"i feel like i can finally smile and mean it, laugh and feel it, and relax and enjoy it."

it's def good to be able to say that...really good.