so, yesterday was much better. the meds def helped. i would say that they didn't make me feel more calm, cause i wasn't manic...they just helped me relax cause i was tense about everything.
but nick came home and we talked a little more about everything. we're good. i told him i'm going to try to let things go and do my best to move in the right direction. i asked him what he wanted me to do to make things better, and his response was "keep trying. just keep trying, and if you start doing something that is bothering me, i'll let you know. but just keep trying". so, that's that. i just have to keep pushing through.
today has been better. i've been productive and i haven't felt tense at all.
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Mot knocking your meds, but don't be so sure its always the meds that make things better or worse. Life is just like that. Everyone has fights like you and Nick did. We all piss one or the other off to the point of not talking. We all need some time away to cool off and then one morning we wake up and things are better. You guys will be great parents. This is stress. It doesn't go away. It doesn't get better. Its all on how you handle it.
ReplyDeleteI have a mood disorder. I know that. Medicine helps me stay calm. But, I know there's a part of "me" that I have to keep under control on of off my meds. Personally, I think you have a lot of other outside factors coupled with your bipolar issues make things worse. I had the same thing. Work drove me nuts and I finally had to accept that I had to deal with it and make the best of it or quit and move on.
I know what its like to want to ahve a baby. I know what its like for 3 years to try and not get pregnant and find out your baby maker is broken. But I can GUARANTEE you all the hell you're putting yourself through with your meds and stuff to potentially get there....theres no guarantees you'll get preggo. Be sure to remember not to look back and regret this time between you and Nick. Its a team effort. Take NOTHING for granted. You never know how long you have it for.