yep, it's official that having messed with my meds to reduce the lithium, i am now on a rediculous manic swing....not good, very angry, antsy, irratable, impatient, and totally bothered i feel this way.
went to Johns Hopkins again for a follow up, def increased my other meds to try and help it out, but the worst part is I know it won't be better for about a week to 2 weeks cause it all has to settle in....
i hate this. i have to fight myself not to tell people exactly how i feel and to not get upset at every little thing....and everyone says just let it go, if they only knew how bad i wish those words were possible, oh how i wish. take something that another person would typically shrug a shoulder to and not even think about in 10 min - then multiply the aggrivation of it by 1000, and then stick it in one of the vicious hamster running things in my mind and sit back and watch me go insane.
Awesome...no, not really.
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Girl - hang in there. I had no idea....I really didn't and now that I do, I just hate it for you. I wish I and all your other loved ones could take little pieces away making the day to day easier for you. It isn't fair for certain ~ but what is amazing is that you have prioritized the possiblity of creating another life above your own. It is an incredibly selfless act and one that deserves much credit and you should give yourself some. No one can understand how tough this is for you but remind yourself of your goal and the reason you are doing it. It WILL be worth it and hopefully that can be your motivation. I love you!
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