so, 4 days till i get my butt kicked (at the triathlon). i know that's not how i should think about it, but unfortunately that IS how i'm thinking about it. I def didn't lose the other 10 lbs i was hoping for. my motivation has lacked lately, and i've been super exhausted. i'm getting a little nervous cause my trainer isn't able to do it with me now, so it's gonna be me, all by myself. yes, nick is still doing it, but he starts before i do and there's no way i'll catch up to him.
i feel strong, and i keep telling myself that i can do it, but then it's as if that thought gets over powered by "but what if i cant?". nick has told me, in the nicest way possible, that he would rather me not do it if i feel like i would quit in the middle of it. because he feels like me quitting in the middle of it would be alot worse on my mind than if i didn't do it at all. i understand where's he's coming from...i just don't think i'm willing to not try. but yes, if i do quit, i know i will be upset with myself.
i get excited when i think about actually participating, but it's when i start thinking about how my body will feel after working that hard (cause i know how it feels doing just normal things, let a alone a triathlon) that i start to question it.
i know that if i had someone right there doing it with me, then i would without a doubt be ok. but nick will only be there if we happen to cross paths, or when he's waiting on me to finish. it's just gonna be me and my mind through the entire thing...and i think we all know that my mind is not always very nice to me. luckily, i've balanced out recently, so i'm not super out of whack. but i also haven't been very uppity or "that's it - go gett'em" either.
so i'm just wondering what is going to happen....is it my mind or my body. my body is in better, but not great shape. my mind is in better, but not great shape. they always say it's your mind over your body at stuff like this...well, what do you do if your mind isn't quite sure what it wants to do and likes to take every detour possible, and also make about 50 uturns where uturns are not allowed? this should be interesting....
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Girl - you can do it. I am praying adrenaline and your willpower combined take over during the race. Let me tell you - no matter the training or weight it is difficult and challenging for all those participating in it where triathlons are concerned. We all have our weak sport whether it be the swim, bike, or run and we all (triathlon participants) get nervous. Just commit to finishing and you will. Walk if you need to, breast stroke if you need to and just PEDAL no matter how fast and you will cross the finish. I believe in you - YOU CAN DO IT! It is the most AHHHHMAZING feeling to finish something like that and you will know exactly what I mean in 4 days!
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